21 Parenting Rules
Parenting in the 21st century is not an easy task. Known structures are changing and new stressors are emerging every day. Parents have to walk a tightrope to ensure that their children are growing up as healthy, responsible and well-balanced human beings, ready to face the world. So here are the Top 21 suggestions for the 21st century parent.
Nurture Your Child
01. Follow the Golden Ratio of 5:1
Say five positive things before you say one negative thing to your child. Do not nag or say harsh things that may hurt your child’s self-esteem.
Say five positive things before you say one negative thing to your child. Do not nag or say harsh things that may hurt your child’s self-esteem.
02. Embrace Your Child’s Uniqueness
Every child is unique. By embracing ‘who they are’, you instil a sense of self-worth and confidence in your child.
03. Your Child Is Not a Social Trophy
Parents tend to show-off their child’s academic or co-curricular achievements before family and friends. Do not do this. It is harmful as your child will feel overburdened with expectations.
04. Make Your Child Feel Secure
Your stress has an adverse long-term effect on your child. Manage financial and emotional stress in your life effectively. Remember, children
with a strong sense of security perform better in school and have a healthier adulthood.
05.Never Say “NO” to Spending Time
Your children want to share their lives with you, so spend quality time with them. Ask them about their day, converse together as a family.
Your children want to share their lives with you, so spend quality time with them. Ask them about their day, converse together as a family.
Discipline
06. Punishment Is not Discipline
Abstain from physical violence and verbal abuse in all circumstances. If children are scolded more, they tend to internalise that they are ‘bad’ and
keep repeating bad behaviour. Instead, discipline the child by reducing TV time, cancelling a treat or an outing for a short period.
Abstain from physical violence and verbal abuse in all circumstances. If children are scolded more, they tend to internalise that they are ‘bad’ and
keep repeating bad behaviour. Instead, discipline the child by reducing TV time, cancelling a treat or an outing for a short period.
07. Find the Reason behind Negative Behaviour
Look for the emotion beneath your child’s negative behaviour. It could be anger, sadness or low self-esteem. Some negative behaviour may be a
symptom of a graver problem. Don’t hesitate to seek professional advice.
Values and Behaviour
08. Respect
Children learn from your behaviour, so please treat everyone with respect. Encourage them to say ‘Please’, ‘Sorry’ and ‘Thank you’.
Children learn from your behaviour, so please treat everyone with respect. Encourage them to say ‘Please’, ‘Sorry’ and ‘Thank you’.
09. Teamwork
Let your children share responsibilities around the house to learn teamwork, cooperation and hard work.
10. Thoughtfulness
When children are taught to be mindful of other people’s needs, they are helpful, kind and less self-centred, leading happy, fulfilled lives.
When children are taught to be mindful of other people’s needs, they are helpful, kind and less self-centred, leading happy, fulfilled lives.
11. Value of Money
Teach children the value of money from an early age to make effective financial decisions in their lives. Be open with them about what you can/
cannot afford. Encourage saving from an early age.
Teach children the value of money from an early age to make effective financial decisions in their lives. Be open with them about what you can/
cannot afford. Encourage saving from an early age.
12. Instil Social Skills
Teach children to listen, respect other’s perspectives and feelings, to accept differences; cooperate, manage their negative emotions, share and give feedback, avoid conflicts and resolve them.
Teach children to listen, respect other’s perspectives and feelings, to accept differences; cooperate, manage their negative emotions, share and give feedback, avoid conflicts and resolve them.
13. Positive Regard for School and Education
Discuss the importance of education with your children. Always show a regard towards their school, its administrators and teachers.
Discuss the importance of education with your children. Always show a regard towards their school, its administrators and teachers.
Shaping Responsible Young People
14. Problem-solving, Analytical and Critical Thinking Skills
Make your children responsible and independent by encouraging them to do things themselves. Allow them to make age-appropriate choices and deal with the natural consequences of those choices. It is healthy for children to make mistakes and learn from them.
Make your children responsible and independent by encouraging them to do things themselves. Allow them to make age-appropriate choices and deal with the natural consequences of those choices. It is healthy for children to make mistakes and learn from them.
15. Inculcating Resilience
Teach your children to persevere and view challenges as learning opportunities. Ask them to pinpoint problems and discuss how they might
be able to overcome them.
Teach your children to persevere and view challenges as learning opportunities. Ask them to pinpoint problems and discuss how they might
be able to overcome them.
16. Planning and Organisation
Help your children make academic and long-term career plans. Start with small day-to-day tasks, like assisting them in creating a homework schedule, planning activities for the day and arranging their room.
Help your children make academic and long-term career plans. Start with small day-to-day tasks, like assisting them in creating a homework schedule, planning activities for the day and arranging their room.
17. Achieving Goals and Fulfilling Dreams
Help your children set manageable goals. Encourage progress over perfection. Give them confidence and determination to fulfil their dreams.
Do not thrust your own aspirations and unfulfilled ambitions upon your children. Let them chart their own paths. Never belittle their dreams.
Help your children set manageable goals. Encourage progress over perfection. Give them confidence and determination to fulfil their dreams.
Do not thrust your own aspirations and unfulfilled ambitions upon your children. Let them chart their own paths. Never belittle their dreams.
Communication
18. Communicate Effectively
Always keep an open line of communication with your children. They should be able to talk to you comfortably about everything and no topic
should be a taboo.
Always keep an open line of communication with your children. They should be able to talk to you comfortably about everything and no topic
should be a taboo.
19. Share Emotions
Encourage your children to share their emotions with you, such as joy, sorrow, anger, frustration, or feelings about the opposite sex.
Encourage your children to share their emotions with you, such as joy, sorrow, anger, frustration, or feelings about the opposite sex.
Individuality and Bonding
20. Value Their Friends and Respect Their Privacy
Friends are a unique support system throughout life. You must get to know your child’s friends and encourage them to visit your child at home.
However, you must also respect your child’s privacy.
Friends are a unique support system throughout life. You must get to know your child’s friends and encourage them to visit your child at home.
However, you must also respect your child’s privacy.
21. Be a Friend but with Boundaries
Be a friend, but with boundaries, as you want to be friends with your child; but as a parent your child’s well-being is your primary responsibility.
Maintain honesty, respect and trust to help you become a good parent.
Be a friend, but with boundaries, as you want to be friends with your child; but as a parent your child’s well-being is your primary responsibility.
Maintain honesty, respect and trust to help you become a good parent.
“A child’s memory lasts a lifetime” - A Spanish dicho
credits: CBSE Positive Parenting: A Ready Reckoner